I know it's wrong to feel this way, I can't see to help it!

Happy New Year

I started off the New Year with a kiss at 12:00am while my husband paused his Wii game, then of course I went on Facebook to wish my dearest friends a Happy New Year. When I came to my best friends profile I noticed that she had changed her picture, which peaked my curiosity because she has had the same picture for over a year. When I opened the picture what I found astonishing was that she looks AMAZING. Don't get me wrong to me she always looked good but, now she looks amazing she has dropped at least 3 sizes & looks younger & healthier.

I am happy for her but, I also found myself kinda bitter because she has changed so much in the last year. I feel like I am in the same place as I was when I left Ontario I have changed in mind & spirit but, body. Yikes, it needs a lot of work. I suddenly fell nervous about my friends visit in March. I know she loves me for me but, I can't help but feel this way. I have a lot of work to do before then & hope that this will be the motivation I need to become a healthier me.

I know not much of a subject. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Happy New Year 2011

Unexpected

I have to admit I came here with the thought that I would find Blogging about cars, crafts ect.... But what I have found instead is a faith in Christ. A faith among the everyday.


This blogging thing is new to me. I needed an outlet & this is where God had directed me. It has been an amazing experience to read all these blogs from seemingly ordinary people. When I came to realize that they are not ordinary, they indeed are extraordinarily.


I have found blog after blog about daily struggles & how Christ has been working in these people lives & has touched my life in a way I cannot yet understand. 


One blogger Simplicity  has had a profound impact of how I see my life at present, Her journey through the desert opened my eyes to the realities I currently face. In the end I know I will be ok & long as I have Faith.


Thank you to all you Bloggers who are no afraid to write about your, adversities & your faith. 

"Sometimes it is good to fall apart. Let it all unravel…. When everything is undone then only the true part of you remains, you are all that is left. The rest is floating in that river of your tears and you can smile as you walk away never looking back."

Baelyn

Depressed or Lazy???

I do not know if I am depressed or lazy. I find myself retreating to my bed at any sign of confrontation or negative energy within my marriage, I have changed so much over the last few months that my husband can't seem to keep up or should I say want to accept the differences in me.

What has changed is my relationship with God, & the way I want to live my life. I can't seem to get it through to my husband that I cannot handle the stress of his smart ass comments or his attacks, when he says things like are you going to be there all day? Or  he say's things like it's always the same thing from you "why should I expect anything else".

I find that in the last few months I am no longer willing to accept living like someone else wants me to live. I find myself wanting nothing more then a sense of calm, clarity & oneness within myself & my family. I am searching for us all to be on the same page. My children have noticed a change in me & have been doing there best to help us get there, together. It is amazing that 3 little angels can see what is happening within me but, a grown man refuses to acknowledge what is right in from of his eyes.

So in your opinion would you say I am Lazy, Depressed or maybe just fed up???