It's been a year, since I first came here to vent. Now it's time to really make a difference

It has been a long year with so many changes. With 3 moves, a major health issue, 2 new children & as always financial worries. But, what is different is how I deal with them. I used to worry night & day, lose sleep, make myself sick & now I very seldom get anxious like I use to.

The difference has been my belief that God does not give you more then you can handle & when you take a step back & see that the world is not ending, dying or falling apart before your feet you can sit back amidst all the chaos & confusion & just breath. No matter how heavy your plate may feel, it is nothing compared to the suffering of the world. We all worry so much about such pointless & meaningless things that we forget how many others live, we have so much & others so little. As long as you have what God thinks you need then you are ok, no not ok but, truly blessed.

No matter how angry, anxious or uptight you maybe God has a plan & a future for you!

In my case it is learning to stop trying to change my husband & focus on what & how i will turn this constant hurt into something that will be able to uplift & empower others.

Depressed or Lazy???

I do not know if I am depressed or lazy. I find myself retreating to my bed at any sign of confrontation or negative energy within my marriage, I have changed so much over the last few months that my husband can't seem to keep up or should I say want to accept the differences in me.

What has changed is my relationship with God, & the way I want to live my life. I can't seem to get it through to my husband that I cannot handle the stress of his smart ass comments or his attacks, when he says things like are you going to be there all day? Or  he say's things like it's always the same thing from you "why should I expect anything else".

I find that in the last few months I am no longer willing to accept living like someone else wants me to live. I find myself wanting nothing more then a sense of calm, clarity & oneness within myself & my family. I am searching for us all to be on the same page. My children have noticed a change in me & have been doing there best to help us get there, together. It is amazing that 3 little angels can see what is happening within me but, a grown man refuses to acknowledge what is right in from of his eyes.

So in your opinion would you say I am Lazy, Depressed or maybe just fed up???